Answering Mom

Answering Mom (& living to tell about it!)

 

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d like us to think about all those questions our moms asked us while we were growing up that demanded an answer. An answer we sometimes didn’t want to give. Or that we knew better than to give! From my perspective on the downside of the Hill, many of those questions and answers are quite humorous, but at the time they were anything but. The list could be endless but here are some of my favorites, in the format of a multiple choice test. How would you answer Mom?

What are you doing in there?

a. Going potty
b. Nothing
c. An experiment

Are you done cleaning your room?

a. Yes
b. Almost
c. It didn’t need cleaned

Why did you lock your door?

a. Don’t bother me, I’m sleeping
b. I’m making you a surprise
c. Do you love me, Mommy?

Close the door, were you born in a barn?

a. I’ll do it in a minute
b. (Totally ignore question – leave door open)
c. If I was born in a barn, that makes you a cow!

Who broke this?

a. He did
b. She did
c. The cat

Do you want a spanking?

a. No
b. No, but I’ll take some candy
c. Yes (every kid in the world has been tempted to say this but no one ever has –
at least no one who lived to tell about it)

Okay, who had it first?

a. I did
b. No, I did
c. Define first

How many times do I have to tell you?

a. I said I’ll do it, quit nagging
b. At least one more, apparently
c. Tell me what?

Are you nuts?

    
a. No, I just want to have some fun
b. Yes, so can I do it?
c. Probably, Jerry’s mom says the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree

If all your friends jumped off the Empire State Building, would you do it too?

a. My friends wouldn’t do that
b. Which floor?
c. Only if I could take my teddy bear with me

 

Do you think I’m totally stupid?

a. No
b. Not totally
c. Nobody could be as stupid as you appear to be

And finally, the same question and same response that comes at every age:

Why did you do that?

a. I don’t know
b. I don’t know
c. I don’t know

Point to Ponder:

God was a perfect parent but his kids still made bad decisions.  When his kids screwed up He responded by asking them questions, even though He knew the answers. And moms have been doing the same ever since. See if you recognize the pattern in your own family.

After Adam & Eve ate the forbidden fruit they hid from God. He asked, “Where are you?” When he saw them wearing fig leaf garments He asked, “Did you do what I told you not to do?”
The first sibling rivalry ended in murder. God asked Cain, “Where is your brother?”
Loosely translated, Cain shrugged his shoulders & replied, “I don’t know. It wasn’t my turn to watch him.”

Perhaps the most graphic depiction of God’s frustration with his kids comes in the book of Jeremiah. The entire narrative can be summed up in one of my mom’s favorite monologues,
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: Stop doing that! But would you listen? No! I might as well have been talking to the wall. But I’ve had enough & now you are going to get it!”

Let’s be honest. If God was merely a just God, we would all be toast! But he is also merciful. So much so that He sent his Son to take the punishment we deserve. The purpose of the Cross was not to simply let God vent his righteous anger, but to offer us the possibility of restoration. He loves us & wants to have a relationship with us.

Most of us, most of the time, experienced that combination of justice & mercy from our own mothers. Though at times we felt her wrath, we knew at the end of the day that she loved us & we loved her. No matter how stupid we acted or how many times we rolled our eyes at how stupid we thought she was, the relationship was intact. If your mom is still living, make sure to thank her for all she went through with you & especially for not killing you in the process!

Blessings,

Ruff