Employment Opportunity!

Are you tired of your current job?
Looking for a new challenge during your retirement years?

The Ark Cruise Line is seeking applicants for the position of:

Executive Director

Qualifications: Must find favor in the eyes of the Lord

Job description: The successful applicant will oversee all details of a 50+ year project. Responsibilities include:

Architecture –

Must be able to turn a verbal concept
into a 450 foot Cruise Ship capable of
housing a crew of 8 adults and a
gazillion pairs of animals comfortably
for an entire year

 

 

Construction Coordinator –
Oversight of :
Ship building,
Waterproofing,
Carpentry,
Plumbing,
Ventilation
Design & construction of an
efficient cooking/heating
system inside a wooden boat
without setting the entire
structure on fire

Guest Services Coordinator –

• Report employee concerns about the guest list directly to God – specifically why termites, skunks & mosquitoes were included
• Double check register  to prevent uninvited stowaways
• Arrange living quarters so the guests do not eat each other
• Coordinate social activities which facilitate exercise & mental health without leading to actual mating
• Provide for guest comfort for an entire year without running water, flush toilets or toilet paper,
• Rectify accommodation issues such as flying bird poop, boredom & lack of variety in the menu selection

Personnel Director –
Assign routine tasks such as cooking, feeding animals, mucking stalls, etc. in a fair manner which utilizes the skills & gifts of all personnel without creating unrest among the employees
Also must be skilled in  mediating the inherent interpersonal conflicts arising from living an entire year in close quarters with your in-laws

Benefits:

You & your extended family will receive an all-expenses-paid cruise on the world’s most complete floating zoo.

Upon successful completion of this project you will be graced with a rainbow as a reminder of God’s promise to never again destroy the world by flood
& the opportunity to replenish the whole Earth with your offspring!

 Please Note: Application deadline is 2500 B.C.

Point to Ponder:

Next time you see a rainbow in the sky remember God’s promises!

Blessings,

Ruff