The PEZ Effect

Remember the PEZ dispensers from when we were kids? What a delight! You opened up the head & a candy popped out. Even better, when you removed that treat another one popped up in its place. And as long your mom kept buying refill packs you had an unending supply of candy for life. Our kids & grand kids alike still look forward to opening their Christmas stockings, knowing there will be a new PEZ dispenser inside.

This past summer has been like a trouble PEZ dispenser for us –  as soon as one issue was taken care of, another one popped up! Can any of you relate?

What began as a need to remove dead branches from a large tree, ended with a fire that that required the replacement of our barn and dealing with –

Insurance…

              

Reclamation… Excavation… Contractors … Electricians… Permits…  Inspections… and of course… Payments… Payments… and more Payments!!!

 

                                                                                                    A cheap oil change  led to replacing…
valve gaskets… an exhaust pipe… shocks… tires… etc. etc. etc.

 

 

Every time I  emptied the trash…

   before I even got it to the road…

It started to accumulate again…

 

A romantic getaway last fall led to…

a barrage of calls from an ever-cheerful telemarketer to get us back…

I have tried saying: No thank you… I’m not interested… Please stop calling… Take me off your list… and hanging up… But no matter what I say or do… SHE KEEPS ON CALLING!!!

 

 

A visit to the doctor led to…

a visit to a dermatologist and… 

biopsies of 4 spots on my head & arms…

surgery to remove squamous cell carcinoma…

an unexpected six weeks off work and…

a vacation to Ocean City NJ without getting in the water.                                                                                               

I waited for an important  check…          

I got lots of advertisements…

Invitations for “how to retire rich” dinners…

Offers to sign up for Medicare Part D Coverage…

and  of course Bills…

but no check.

 

 

While I was off work for six weeks I volunteered to do the laundry…

I had forgotten that emptying a dirty clothes hamper…

was like issuing an engraved invitation to add more dirty clothes…

and putting away clean clothes only works if they are put in the closet where no one will find them…                                  

otherwise they will just end up in the dirty clothes hamper again without being worn

Other examples of the PEZ effect:

 

When a child (regardless of age) screams in anger, it is the natural instinct of the parent to intervene…

The intervention is usually ignored until the volume of the parent exceeds the volume of the child…

Then the child will blame the parent for  yelling…

Which causes the parent to “calmly” explain that they had to yell to be heard…

Which makes the child start screaming again

As I get older the urgency to go to the bathroom is more urgent…

I am taking a medication to reduce the urgencies…

One side effect of the medication is dry mouth…

Which makes me drink more…

Which increases my urge to use the bathroom

 

Fixing a dripping faucet is considered a minor repair…

After I finish this minor repair…

The faucet still drips…

Thinking I must not have tightened it enough…

 I give it one more hard pull…

Creating a flood and…

The need for a plumber to do a minor repair

 

 

 

Point to Ponder:

Life has a way of piling up on us.  In football,  the result would be a 15 yard penalty for unnecessary roughness. But there are no referees in my world to insure fair play. Like a PEZ dispenser it just keeps on giving out.

So how do we respond when even our fatigue is fatigued? Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NIV)  The key is not to escape life’s continual pressures & problems (that is called death), but to find a rhythm which includes rest. Not just the absence of labor but a restoration of body, mind & soul. Our creator designed us to take periodic breaks for renewal.  We ignore this principle at our own peril.

Blessings,

Ruff

 

 

Can things possibly get any worse?

In my 63 years of living I have learned that, no matter how bad things look, don’t ever ask,

“Can things possibly get any worse?”

Because the answer is yes!

 

Let me take you through a hypothetical day. Though not all of this has happened in one day, every event has actually happened to me (and probably to you too!) many times.

It’s late at night. I watch the alarm clock steadily ticking away the minutes, then hours as sleep eludes me. By the time I recognize it as a severe case of insomnia it is too late to take anything because it will make me groggy all day.

As the clock inches toward my rising time I realize that unless I get to sleep soon I will not be able to function in the morning. Finally, an hour or so before dawn I drift to sleep. Just as my body starts to enjoy its rest,
I am jolted awake by my wife who says the alarm didn’t go off. I’m exhausted, late & barely functioning.
Can things possibly get any worse?

 

As I scarf down breakfast I burn my tongue.  

My tooth brush slips and painfully separates
my cheek from my gums.

As I start out the driveway, I realize I forgot my lunch so I back up to get it
nearly running over the dog. 
Now instead of being just late, I am fretfully late.
Can things possibly get any worse?

In my haste to make up time I drive like a maniac.
Fortunately, God is merciful & I don’t cause an accident or get a ticket. Unfortunately, just when I think I might be okay, I get stuck behind a slowpoke with the audacity to drive only 65 in a 60 mph zone.

Thanks to this nitwit I arrive at work 10 minutes late & the boss is upset at my tardiness.

Can things possibly get any worse?

 

My typical efficiency in the office is reduced dramatically
  because my brain is still lazing away in bed.
But my bladder is wide awake  & makes frequent demands for attention.

 
Eventually I accelerate to a moderate snail’s pace   
but what I gain in speed I lose in accuracy.
Now I am not only tardy,
I am unable to complete my work in a timely manner. 

Can things possibly get any worse?

During the day I make multiple mistakes, looking like a rookie despite 31 years on the job.

With each one I fall further behind.

My blood pressure rises in proportion to my frustration.

As I try to make up time my concentration & judgment fail me,
leading to total discombobulation.

By the time I leave work I am ready to scream!
Can things possibly get any worse?

On the drive home the road is filled with idiots!

After following one such nincompoop for several
miles I finally get my chance to pass. Using all the
acceleration my little 4 cylinder car can muster, I
leave him sitting in the dust, not realizing his
slowness was due to a cop just ahead.

After a not-so-friendly discussion with the officer,
I am finally back on the road, $80 poorer.
Can things possibly get any worse?

When I arrive home supper is cold,

  my wife is mad
 
& the kids are demanding.

                         

I have a pounding headache so I go to bed early.

And I can’t sleep… again.

Can things possibly get any worse?

Point to Ponder:

We all have days that are frustrating, going from bad to worse. It seems that each new incident multiplies the previous one until we are ready to explode. How do we deal with these aggravations without going postal?

Try these techniques:
Relax – take a few deep breaths
Unwind – do something you enjoy later that day
Find the humor – remember, this will make a great story later
Forget – don’t let one day’s trouble spoil the next

Here is a verse I find helpful as I face a new day after being frustrated the day before:

God says, “First pay attention to me & then relax. Now you can take it easy. You’re in good hands.”
Proverbs 1:33 (MSG)

Blessings,

Ruff

“Twas the month before Christmas”

 Twas the month before Christmas and all through the Post Office
                                             

We scurried like chickens with our heads chopped off us

The schedule was posted by the time clock with care

                          

In hopes that by nightfall we all would be there

The day’s service talk turned into a clatter

As they calmly explained just what was the matter

“You can’t start till 8, but be back by 6…
Things aren’t going smoothly but we’ll find a fix”

“Too many scans missing, too much time you took…

meanwhile our phone’s ringing off of the hook”

  ‘My mail’s still delivered  though I’m on vacation!’

‘Why can’t you find my parcel’s location?’

“How do I explain above all the screams…

The fault isn’t mine, just blame the machines!”

By this time my mind had begun to tune out

                                                “I’ve got my own problems!” I wanted to shout

So much mail to case…      

and parcels galore
    

      My mind hollered,  “Stop I can’t take any more!”

All the long hours  left me feeling my age

 (about 85… on my really good days)

 

    While over & over  I heard in my head…

“Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed.”

I felt a relief when I reached Christmas Eve

And I went to bed early, enjoying the reprieve

So frazzled I couldn’t remember my name…

                   

But a wonderful Christmas it was just the same

Point to Ponder:

Few of us escape the hassles of the holidays. Extra work, extra activities, extra expectations on ourselves & others. Before you enter situations where you know you will be interacting with others, pause to pray. Ask God to help you be his gracious representative in a frazzled world. Then eagerly await opportunities to be a blessing!

Blessings,

Ruff

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oops… Did I say that out loud?”

 October, 2015

In cattle it’s called ‘foot and mouth” disease. For us humans, the more appropriate designation is “foot in mouth” disease. A seemingly innocent statement, overheard by the wrong person at the wrong time, can leave us red-faced, asking ourselves, “Did I really say that out loud?” Perhaps I am the only one who has ever spoken foolishly & found myself in a pickle of my own making. But I doubt it! Here are a few examples of how a loose tongue can get us in trouble:

 “Is she pregnant?”                                                            “No!”

                                                                                         

^^^

 

“My last boss was a real jerk… he said I was immature!”

    

     ^^^                    

  “Rrippp!”  

                                

“Oops, I thought it would be a silent one”

^^^

 

“The old geezer is finally gone for the day. Now we can party!

^^^

         “Meet my new dog, Daddy!”                              “What’s that smell?”

                                                                        

^^^

                    “How can anyone be so stupid?”

                                           

^^^

“Burrrrp… Did I say that out loud?”

^^^

“Quick hide that magazine, here comes the teacher!”

^^^

“You’ll never believe what we did last night!”

                                                 

^^^       

“Did she want her hair to look like that?”

                           

^^^

“See you tonight Susie!”                      “The party was supposed to be a surprise!”

                                                                                        

^^^

“Tell me young man, what kind of father would let his daughter…    

                                                

leave the house dressed like that?” 

             “That’s MY daughter!”     

^^^

“That sermon was soooo boring!”

                                “Oh hi, Pastor!”  

^^^

And finally…

“What do you think? Is that her husband or her dad?”

“He’s my husband, stupid! Do I look like a little girl?”

Point to Ponder:

“A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.”

James 3: 5-6 (MSG)

Blessings,

 

Ruff

 

          

Do you REALLY want to be Rich & Famous?

“Ruff?”

 September, 2015

“The grass is always greener if YOU don’t have to mow it!”

Part Three –

“Do you REALLY want to be Rich & Famous?”

All children dream of being somebody important. A famous football player, an Olympic skater, a movie star,
or (God forbid) President of the United States.

One of my earliest childhood aspirations was to become a cowboy like Roy Rogers. To ride the range, wrestling little “doggies” and keeping the ladies safe from the bad guys who wore black hats.

 

But my fondest dream was to be a trash collector. Hey, they got to ride around on a great big truck that made lots of noise, performed magic (making trash disappear), and to my childish eyes it appeared no one ever made them take a bath. Every little boy’s ultimate dream world!

But dreams that come true aren’t always what they seem:

“Do you REALLY want to be Rich & Famous?”

How about this????

Winning the Lottery!

Many of my friends & co-workers faithfully make weekly investments into their state lotteries in hopes that one day they will hit the big one, be able to quit working & start living a life of ease.

Yet statistically, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning (twice!)

                                                      

than of winning the lottery. But should you win, you will suddenly have…

hundreds of new friends (who want a handout) & lots of attention (from the IRS & investment advisors who want a share of your fortune)

And history shows that within a few years you are far more likely to experience bankruptcy, divorce, misery & even suicide, than lasting happiness.

So instead maybe you should try being a…

Star Football Player

    

Wouldn’t it be great to makes millions of dollars every year & only work a few months?

To be adored by thousands of fans every week? Maybe not…

Because your rivals not only want to defeat you, they want to maim you…

You can have your best season ever, but make one miscue in the championship game
& forever be known as the guy who choked under pressure…

Not to mention having a fan with a beer gut & an IQ of 50 call you a bum…

Oh yeah, sign me up!!

Don’t give up your dream yet. You could always be a…

 Movie Star

Here’s a life to be envied! Popularity beyond your wildest dreams!

On the cover of countless magazines! Voted sexiest person of the year!

 

But also having your “fairy tale-turned nightmare” on display for all the world to see…

                

Needing to have a perfect body lest you end up on the cover of another magazine…

    

    So many paparazzi around you can’t even pick your nose in private…

      

Is this really the road to happiness? 

There is one option left, if you dare…

President of the United States     

                     

The most powerful person in the free world…

On the cover of every magazine imaginable

 Mentioned in the news daily

                                                                                                                                    Revered by many… hated by multitudes

                                                                                                                         

Where every nut in the family tree becomes a celebrity

                                                                       The weight of the world on your shoulders…

                                                                                  

                                                                                                                    While making less than many NFL benchwarmers

                                                                                                                       

Maybe I’ll just be content with being a regular Joe Schmoe!

Point to Ponder:

Two of the most destructive words in the english language are, “If only.” If only I was richer. If only people respected me. If only I had a better job. If only I wasn’t so fat, skinny, ugly, etc. etc. ad nauseum…

The good news is that we don’t need to be perfect. Look around – do you see anyone else with a perfect life? I hope this series has helped us see that even those who appear to have it all… don’t! We are all fallen, damaged people trying desperately to not let all the other fallen, damaged people see what we are really like.

The cure for our brokenness is not hiding it or longing for something better. It is to accept who we are & to recognize that God loves us anyway. The greatest need we have in this life is to be loved by someone. When that person knows us, warts & all, & still loves us, that is a gift far greater than riches or fame! I pray that you may experience that love & acceptance both in this life & the life to come.

 Blessings,

Ruff

 

 

 

“The Advantages of Self-Employment”

 June, 2015

Part Two of the Series:

“The grass is always greener if YOU don’t have to mow it!”

 

Ever get tired of your job? Craved the power to manage your workplace using common sense? Felt fed up with stupid rules made by stupid people? Wished you could just leave it all behind & work for yourself?