Does anyone else have recurring nightmares? The same dream, with minor variations, repeated over & over ad nauseam.
Some people dream of falling 
Others of being chased 
Or being so scared you can’t make a sound
despite trying to scream
~
My recurring nightmares make all the rest seem like a child’s picnic. When I am tormented by dreams it is always the same: I am…
Barney Fife!
Since I was a knee-high to a grasshopper, I have been plagued with night-time visions of having the style, finesse & charm of our blustering buddy Barney.
~
Warning: the remainder of this newsletter is not for the squeamish!
~
When I was in school I often dreamed of being in English class. Just as the teacher called on me to give my book report at the front of the room, I discovered I was only wearing my underwear.
I never could figure out how I made it all the way to class without anyone noticing. But have you ever tried to cover yourself when 30 of your peers are staring at you & laughing their heads off?
Barney would have been proud!
~
In college these dreams became more sophisticated. It was always the last day of the semester…
I wasn’t sure when the final exams were scheduled
I wasn’t even sure where the class met 
because I hadn’t been there all semester…
In my defense, I had such high regard for the professor 
that I didn’t want him to think I was bored
so I stayed in bed during class.
(Unfortunately, I actually did this!)
The biggest problem was trying to explain
why I now needed extra credit to not fail his class…
for the third time in a row! 
The good news is that (in my dreams at least) I always woke up before being officially notified:
(Actually, flunking out of college at the end of the first semester of my first sophomore year was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But that is for another issue of Ruff.)
~
Even after I got my Bachelor’s Degree (in 5 years) , I continued to have those same college nightmares for decades. But gradually they were replaced by Post Office dreams.
To be honest, I actually felt like Barney for the first few years I worked there.
No matter how hard I tried
I managed to bungle things on a regular basis.
Even now after 30 years, in my dreams, my performance is still stuck in Barney mode. For example:
I am at a new office & I can’t find my time card or the time clock. As I wander aimlessly about, others are done sorting their mail & leaving for the street. No one else seems to notice my personal meltdown.
I don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed about being
only halfway through my route as dark approaches.
I try to call my supervisor to explain I will be late 
but the line is either busy or no one answers. Meanwhile with each attempt I am getting further & further behind!
Other times I am on an unfamiliar route. As I finish a carrying a swing I realize I have no idea where I am or where I parked my truck.
I call the office & frantically seek a way to explain to my boss how I could get lost, & also lose my $50,000 vehicle.
Meanwhile all the neighbors are staring at me 
as I walk in circles muttering to myself, “Barney, I need you!”
Now that I have seniority & a wonderful route, I often dream that I have foolishly bid on another route in a less desirable section of town, complete with lots of dogs 
(and dog poop!) 
Realizing my mistake, I desperately try to get my old route back, only to be outbid by someone with more seniority. The good news is that I have had this nightmare so often that I sometimes realize while I am sleeping that it is only a dream & can wake myself up.
~
Even my vacations can fall prey to the Barney effect. For the past 40+ years I have spent a week of my summer at our church camp near Dayton, Ohio.
I have been a camper, a youth leader & even on the camp management team. Yet I am still plagued with the recurring dream that it is the last day of camp 
& I realize that I have spent the whole time in bed & not participated in one scheduled activity all week.
~
Perhaps the most frustrating nightmares I have are about my own personal “paradise on earth”
Ocean City, NJ.
In one scenario our apartment is so far from the beach that it takes 30 minutes just to drive there. When we arrive, the beach is wall to wall people because it is only 50 yards wide.
And there are only tiny waves, because the ocean is just a small river… 
~
The other OCNJ dream I have is similar to my camp nightmare. It is the last day of a two-week vacation
& as we pack to go home…. 
I realize I haven’t even been to the beach yet!
The only glimpse I get of the ocean that year is in my rear view mirror 
as we drive over the bridge to leave the island.
~
Then there is the recurring dream about visiting friends. As always, I really need to use the bathroom as soon as I arrive.
My friends live in a mansion. 
There are eight bedrooms & ten bathrooms. But everyone I try is occupied.
Someone doing her hair 
another her makeup 
And some are showering. 
Just when I am about to burst, I finally find an unoccupied bathroom in an unoccupied bedroom. Whew!!
But as I’m washing my hands I notice a yellow puddle on the floor 
& realize the commode was just sitting on the floor unattached to plumbing.
I slink back downstairs hoping no one will notice till after we leave. But I hear voices in the kitchen… Our friends wondering why their ceiling is leaking.
I’m not sure even Barney could get out of that one!
~
Point to Ponder:
Most, if not all of us, harbor deep feelings of inadequacy. No matter how smart, talented or well off we appear to others, we know what we are truly like. In our dreams, those feelings we try so hard to deny seem to rise to the surface. What a relief it is to awaken to find that it was only a dream!
Someday, those of us who believe in the Lord, will awaken to find that all of the ugliness, the pain, the inadequacies, the outright awfulness of our lives on earth are gone. As if we had been having a bad dream, this new consciousness will overwhelm us with relief & gratitude as we come face to face with the One who loves us unconditionally & invites us to be with him forever.
Blessings,
Ruff
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